One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
