So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize