is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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