is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
