Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
