I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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