You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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