Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
