I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
