She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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