you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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