David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
