Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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