he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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