Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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