have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
