Im at strip club and am horny
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
