i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
