He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
