Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
