Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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