I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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