We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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