Just fell off a train. Bad.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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