So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
