See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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