Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
