He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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