sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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