This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
