How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
