who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
