I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
