Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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