not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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