Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
