just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
