how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I believe in your delicious
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
