I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize