i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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