she was so not down for the gang bang
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize