shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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