he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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