i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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