I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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