Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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