There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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