Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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