Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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