I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
