I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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