Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
