wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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