Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
