she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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