Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
