too bad you live with your parents still
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
